Let's see what this thing can do.
Posts tagged lil peekaboo
Anonymous said: proof of big dick theory pls
Dear anon, you have come to the right place.
Did you really think Tazer would settle for anything less?
In all seriousness, hate him or love him, I think we can all agree that Patrick Kane is self-confident. Whether you view that as cockiness or self-possession is up to you, but you can’t deny that that man is comfortable with and confident in who he is. Numerous studies show, with varying degrees of statistical significance, that men who are better endowed are more confident, and that that confidence often manifests as self-assurance. And, Patrick Kane is one confident motherfucker. He’s relatively small in stature, especially in comparison to teammates bigger and more outwardly masculine than him, and yet Patrick Kane exudes masculinity and walks and talks like one of the big guys. His confidence in his body has to come from somewhere other than the obvious. Thus, big dick.
One study is of particular interest in the proving-that-Pat-Kane-has-a-monster-cock crusade. Although he doesn’t wear a letter on his chest, that Patrick Kane is a central figure on the team is inarguable. And that significance isn’t just because he’s got the softest hands around. He is definitely one of the social centers: he regales the rookies, he’s the life of the party, he’s that guy everyone feels comfortable laughing with and at - lovingly, of course.
Christopher Morriss-Roberts found that:
"[The] knowing of who has a large cock and who didn’t within a homosocial environment helped individual sporting males climb up a social hierarchy of importance. Those with the larger penises were revered and idolized by their teammates as a symbol of masculinity. These "large-cocked" individuals became a focus of camaraderie and team building within their sports environments. The cock became a focus on which to banter, create nicknames, and enjoy the fundamental basics of being a man. "
Though it’s important to note that this study is limited by a small sample size, its conclusions seem logical. Throw a bunch of hyper-masculine men together and they’ll end up checking each other out in the showers (I can hear the ringing calls of “No homo!” from here) and gaugeing each other’s worth by dick size. And no one can dispute that the guys on his team love and respect Kaner and that, since he joined the team looking all of 12 with cherubic curls, he’s been at its social center. Someone as tiny as Kaner doesn’t earn social cred that fast just by virtue of being a wonderkid - that can often do the opposite, especially with older guys who feel threatened by the hotshot rookie. Instead, Kaner secured their instant respect some other way - aka, with his huge dick.
Also - you don’t call a guy with a small dick “little man” or “little peekaboo” or anything like that because that would just be cruel. My take on the guys making fun of Kaner’s size? It’s only acceptable and funny because he is seriously packing. Thus, big dick.
And now, I present the pictorial evidence:
(I will concede that, if indeed a dick, it is a very oddly shaped one. But no phone looks like that or is that size, okay. Just let me pretend.)
(It takes a man who’s pretty damn confident in the size of his junk to wear spandex, okay. And yup… there it is. Although once again, oddly square? Patrick Kane’s dick is like the loch ness monster: guaranteed to be huge but impossible to find pictorial evidence of.)
In conclusion: Patrick Kane has a big dick.
everyone after watching Tazer’s ice bucket challenge
I mean, no wonder he took all those showers.